In The Bleak Midwinter
by sjb8706
Summary: Caryl find each other on the road during wintertime. ZA AU where Carol leaves the kingdom and strikes out on her own. She heads north. Implied that after losing everything Daryl tracks her down. They begin their life together and celebrate Christmas. It's pretty fluffy at the end.
1. Chapter 1

FWD: I was listening to some somber Christmas music by Josh Garrels and was suddenly inspired to write something that goes in a bit of a different direction than the show. I don't own the walking dead or these characters. +++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 1: In the Bleak Midwinter

A fine white dusting had festively settled over the ground and what was left of the green grass beside the road. The wind gusted and Carol held a scarf firmly against her chapped lips to cut the bite of the cold from stinging her face. She sighed and looked ahead. The road was empty, no footprints on the ground, and the dead were silent.

Months on the road had taught her to be on high alert no matter what she saw or heard around her. There was no telling what could be lurking in the shadows of the snow laden forest. Many things had lurked there before the cold had bitten hard into the earth. People, feral animals, the dead. But none were more terrifying than her own ghosts. At night she slept fitfully, in and out of nightmares about the ones she'd left behind or killed.

Sweat trickled down her brow and she felt it begin to collect in the palms of her mittened hands. The wind died down momentarily and she removed her mittens and dropped the sar fro her face. A whisper from the past, a memory, flashed before her, "What do you want?" she remembered him asking long ago by the fire. "I want a man of honor," had been her own reply. She laughed at herself. Hindsight was twenty/twenty. She lingered next to the road taking in a deep breath of cold air while wiping her brow. He had been the man she was talking about then and he had done everything to rise to the occasion under the dire circumstances. At the time she naively assumed they'd continue on as a family. But things, mostly she, had changed.

She shook her head and tightened the scarf around her face again before putting her gloves back on. In the first weeks since she'd left Alexandria she had hoped he'd come after her, find her in some abandoned shack or house and bring her back, confess his undying love with awkward words and affectionate touches. All of it wishful thinking, no different than thinking Sophia to be alive so long ago.

A gust of wind picked up and blew through her and she knew it was time to keep moving. A mailbox at the end of a long driveway appeared up ahead. For the first time in three weeks she thought hopefully about the possibility of a can of beans, a warm blanket and maybe some dry wood to burn.

She could've had more if she'd stayed with Morgan at the Kingdom. But just before she decided to leave, right as the doctor declared her fit to work again, the itch to run returned. She had began to subtly remove herself the kingdom at that point, first by insisting she live alone in the house away from the settlement, then shortly after Daryl's visit she ducked out in the middle of the night.

When she reached the mailbox she opened it in curiosity and rolled her eyes when it turned up nothing but ice. She turned and looked up the long driveway. There were no recent tracks, a few shuffling dead tracks here and there across through the trees but it looked safe enough. She took the chance and made her way up the drive. There was a small cottage sitting built into the side of a hill. To the south of the house was a barn much like the one on Hershel's property. Next to the cottage there looked to be a water pump. She prayed luck was on her side and it was far enough underground that the water wasn't frozen or dried up.

She found some scraps of metal and made her way to the front door of the cottage. The door and windows were all intact. Much like the grove had been, the small refuge seemed virtually untouched. She broke the glass on the door hoping the sound would attract any walkers and bring them out from hiding. She stood in the entryway of the home and sighed. The air was musty from being shut for so long, no walkers had appeared and she assumed there were at least four more rooms that needed to be checked. She shut the door behind her and for a moment she settled into the subtle change in temperature.

Five minutes later she had vetted every room, every nook and cranny. Her spoils were ten cans of fruit, beans, veggies. There was plenty of dry wood stocked in the shed outside and she stoked the fire of the wood stove, warmed her hands and waited for the top of the stove to heat. When it was hot enough she poured some water from the pump outside into a kettle and waited for a boil. Once done she let it cool and drank up greedily.

Hours later she was cuddled up into the couch with 5 different blankets piled around her. If it had been the old world she imagined Sophia sitting curled up with a book in the chair across from her and if she fantasized really hard she could see Him. He was sitting at the kitchen table near the wood stove cleaning his bow while planning his next hunt. In another world maybe they were the picture of domesticity.

She closed her eyes and listened as the wind rushed against the north side of the house.


	2. Chapter 2

FWD: Daryl finds Carol. The outcome of this story will not be your typical smutty Caryl reunion. Song that inspired this Chapter is "Shepherd's Song" by Josh Garrels +++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 2: Shepherd's Song

Four days later she'd fallen into a comfortable, albeit paranoid, routine around the cottage. There was another house about two miles down the road with plenty of supplies and few walkers. She took advantage of the time she had while she let the cold weather pass. By her estimates she had at least a three more weeks of this bitter cold before it would be warm enough for her to move on without freezing to death. Knowing the houses around her cottage had been mostly untouched she would last there just long enough. As she was walking back from a neighboring house she stopped at the end of the long drive next to the mailbox. Tire tracks led up to the house.

She dropped her pack under some brush in case she needed to hurry off. Creeping slowly along the treeline of the driveway she peered at the vehicle next to the cottage. A figure was moving around inside. She squinted her eyes to get a better look. It was a man. She sighed and closed her eyes in resignation. She knew she had the supplies in her pack as well as one more house a few miles to the west. Even if they took everything, she would be able to get by.

The door to the cottage popped open and a man in a leather jacket stepped out, his bow ready to fire. After doing another look around he sat his weapon down on the porch and slumped his shoulders. She let go of the breath she was holding and closed her eyes in relief. She walked out of the tree line and approached him on the porch.

He stilled as their eyes made contact. She smiled sadly at him and she noticed his lip quivered as he tried to hold back his own emotions. He nodded and a tear slipped down her cold cheek but she didn't bother wiping it away. He walked toward her and wrapped her in his arms. She tensed at his touch at first but relaxed the moment he spoke. "Ya okay?"

It was a simple question but answering it brought with it more emotion than she was capable of sharing in the moment. She looked up at him and shook her head. He reached his hand up and wiped the cold snot and tears from her face as she broke apart in front him. He broke too. 


	3. Chapter 3

FWD: I love the idea of these characters together so much. Much like the song that inspired this chapter, there is anticipation of whats to come next for Caryl and the hope that a declaration will be made. +++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 3: Silent Night

After the sun had set and the wind had died down she showed him where the wood pile was and they stocked up for the night. They didn't share many words between them just comfortable silence and looks of relief. At first he was a little jumpy but she reassured him things had been quiet around this area since she had arrived.

"There's another house about three miles west of here, I figured I'd go over there tomorrow and see what's left." she explained as she flitted about the kitchen and made them something to eat from the stores of food she had already gathered. He busied himself with checking the wood stove and stoked the logs inside to make room for more. Once that was finished he stepped over to the front window and peeked through the thick blanket she'd hung to hide them from any wandering beasts.

"Saw some deer tracks not far from here when I was checking out the place. Might be some game left in these parts." He grabbed his bow and his bolts and sat at the kitchen table. She threw a rag on the table for him. He looked up and smirked at her.

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. I'm going to go scrounge up some more blankets." She walked out of the kitchen area made her way down the dark hall and disappeared into a bedroom with a kerosene lamp in her hand.

As she was opening the closet shoving aside various items of clothing a box moved and fell from the top shelf, items landing on her head and scattered around her on the floor. Daryl must've heard the commotion because he was there suddenly. "Ya okay?"

She sighed and nodded her head and stared at the pictures scattered everywhere. "Just old pictures." Her eyes glassed over for a second and she sniffed hard to hold back the tears.

He bent down and picked up one of the images. Three gangly 12 year olds were sitting on the open gate of a bright red ford pickup. "She looks like your girl." he said softly.

She wiped a tear from her eye and reached into the closet once more, quickly finding what she had been looking for. Blankets. "We should get settled in for the night, It stays pretty warm because the west side of the house is in the hill, but still good to have more blankets." she reasoned.

He nodded and started shuffling the pictures back together and grabbed the box.

"What are you doing?" she asked him.

"Just cleanin' up." She simply nodded and left him to his task. 


	4. Chapter 4

FWD: Inspired by the song "The Light Came Down" By Josh Garrels. The illumination of their shared truth in a very dark and sad world. Hope blooms out of that wreckage for Caryl.  
+++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 4: The Light Came Down

She woke up and stretched lazily on the couch and realized that the familiar scent of coffee was hanging in the air. She inhaled and popped her hand out of her mound of blankets. She looked down and noticed his cot on the floor was straightened up and shoved next to the couch. Looking over to the kitchen area she frowned. Grabbing her many layers and putting them back on she stood from the couch and walked to the window checking to see if he was outside. Maybe checking out the barn. The truck was gone.

She grabbed her pack and tightened the scarf around her face. All of the doubts she'd had before he'd arrived yesterday started swimming through her head again. Perhaps he wasn't planning to stay with her, maybe he had only found her to realize she wasn't what he wanted. Maybe he had only found her out of obligation, maybe she was too broken, maybe she was too old etc… Distracted by those complicated and racing thoughts she didn't notice a lone walker stumbling across the snow in her direction until she turned to look at the cottage.

With her gloves on, her knife wasn't as accessible or easy to use. The walker grabbed her coat and her feet faltered. She stumbled backwards taking it with her. She pulled her glove off in time for an arrow to pierce through its mouth. She sighed and pushed the dead weight from her body and laid there for a moment. He hadn't left.

"Carol!" He yelled. She heard his running footsteps crunching across the layers of ice and snow. By the time he reached her she was standing up and brushing the cold snow from her body.

"I'm fine. They move slower up here." she assured him.

He shook his head and sighed and lowered his bow. "You ain't gotta go out alone like that."

"I woke up and I thought-" she looked around nervously.

"I hid the truck in the barn this morning after I cleared it." he pointed to the offending structure. "I was on my way back to the house when I spotted the deer tracks again. Thought I'd surprise you with some real meat." He started walking back to the house. "C'mon I got a different surprise for ya."

She nodded and followed him. He stopped and waited for her to catch up to him. They fell into an easy rhythm together and when they got back to the porch her eyes widened in surprise.

"What-"

Before she could even ask he grabbed the short evergreen, "Found a stand in the barn and just thought, maybe we didn't have to miss it this year."

She helped him carry it inside. He re-stoked the wood stove shoving another small log inside and they got to work setting up the tree. When it was finished they sat on the couch together staring at the small token of the old world. "Looks kinda sad." he chuckled.

"Nah." She looked at him and smiled brightly. "It's enough." He smiled shyly at her and she leaned into him. "You're enough."

He stiffened at her statement for a second and pulled away from her touch. Both of them were so traumatised by their past and present it was almost a foreign idea to declare such feelings aloud. When he saw her face looking at him with unadulterated affection he relaxed. "It's never enough." he said weakly.

She scooted away from him on the couch so she could look at his face better. She grasped his hand and held it affectionately. "I hoped you would find me."

He chewed on the inside of his lip. So many questions lingered between them. She could see them in his eyes. He let go of her hand and stood. "I need to go check the perimeter. Probably not smart of us to be burning the stove during the day. S'more visible."

She nodded agreeing with him. "I could come with you." She stood and began to put her layers back on.

"Nah. You stay here, stay warm."

"What about doing this together?" she questioned him.

He shook his head, "It won't take but a few minutes. No need for ya freeze ya ass off for a quick check."

"Daryl." she insisted stepping toward him at the door.

"Just-I'll be fine. Stay here." He put a hand up and gave her a stern glare. She relented and watched him from the window as he traipsed around the property. Pretty soon she saw him coming back to the door with a few rabbits over his shoulder. He entered with a gust of wind and snow and shook out his hair and dusted his shoulders off.

She was in the kitchen pretending to start dinner. "You found some game." she stated. He nodded and set their meal in the sink.

"Give me a few minutes and I'll take it back out to clean 'em quick."

"Just clean it there."

"We don't have any running water-"

"It's fine." she smiled trying to ease away whatever tension had arisen between them in the last half hour. "Relax." He took a deep breath and removed his coat.

"You okay?" she asked him.

He shrugged and sat at the kitchen table watching her as she began clean up the kills at the sink. After a few minutes of silence he spoke up. "I got scared when I saw you earlier."

She turned and gave him a reassuring look, "I'm still here."

"Yeah," he replied, "But ain't no one else." She lifted the skinned meat up onto butcher block on the counter and rustled around in the pantry for a few canned items and a pot she'd found at another house.

"You and me, at the end of the world." she said sadly.

"You ever think-"

Before he even finished his thought she finished it for him, "Sophia would've loved you."

He chewed nervously on the edge of his thumb nail at the words. He sniffed and tried to hold back his tears.

"They're out there somewhere." she said.

"They cain't be." he said rubbing the tears away from his eyes.

As soon as the pan was on the stove she grabbed a cup of the coffee he'd made and took a sip. It was luke warm now but officially burnt from sitting on the wood stove all day. She grimaced and began to tease him, "How did you drink this earlier?"

"What? It aint that bad!" he chuckled softly as he tried to fight of the looming sadness. "Keeps ya warm!" he declared

She giggled and set the mug down. "It's not starbucks but it'll do." she smiled and reached for his hand on the table. He reached out for hers at the same time. "I'm glad you found me."

His lip curled in and the water works turned on. She pulled him into her and held him as he cried into her shoulder. There was no reason to hash out each and every moment of their life on the road and how it had changed them. There was no reason to dwell on what could've been. He sighed and shuddered and looked up at her. He leaned his forehead against her own and closed his eyes.

She reached a hand up and caressed his hair and the side of his face. She kissed his cheek and closed her eyes on a sigh. A tear slipped down her cheek and she giggled a little. "I'm not leaving you."

"I'm not leaving you." he rasped. 


	5. Chapter 5

FWD: Inspired by the song "O Day of Peace" By Josh Garrels. So much warm hope and joy created for our leading couple here. I think Daryl is an actions over words character, but also think intense emotions like joy and excitement would bring out a different side of him :)  
+++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 5: O Day of Peace

The next morning she woke up cuddled under all the blankets on his cot next to the couch. His spot next to her was empty but she wasn't alarmed. She smiled listening to him fumble around in the kitchen. Hearing him pour coffee and set plates on the table was a welcome sound. The house was colder because they'd let the fire burn out this morning. But, he was right, it wouldn't be safe to keep it burning during the day so he'd used the oil stove to brew the coffee and whatever else he had cooked-most likely left over stew.

She stood from the floor and pulled her sweater and boots on. "Morning." she smiled at him.

He blushed and smiled in response. She looked at the table and gasped. He'd set up several simple dishes on the table. A can of cranberry sauce emptied into a bowl, a small roasted pheasant sitting on a plate and and something that looked liked mashed potatoes in another bowl. A few candles and some holly berries sat as the center piece.

"Merry Christmas." he pulled out the chair for her to sit.

"Daryl- how did you find all of this?"

"Went out early while ya was dreaming of sugar plums." he joked.

Her eyes were shedding tears of joy. "That house three miles west?" she asked.

His eyes twinkled. "Weren't nothing." he sat across from her and grabbed her hand. "Wanted you to have somethin' special. I ain't had no real Christmas before and hell, finding ya's about the best Christmas gift ol' Saint Nick's ever gave me."

"Should we really be using all of these supplies?" she asked.

He shrugged. "That house? Full of anything we need. Got most of it in the back of the truck, probably just need one more run and we'll be set for awhile." He grabbed the mashed potatoes and heaped a spoonful on her plate. "Even had these mashed potatoes. Wasn't sure'd they'd still be good but they smell okay. Tasted 'em and they weren't half bad."

It was the most she'd ever heard him talk at once. His spoils and this Christmas feast had him beaming like a kid on Christmas day. She picked up her fork and heaped it full of the instant potatoes and began to eat while he started to cut the bird. 


	6. Chapter 6

FWD: Inspired by the song "May You Find a Light" By Josh Garrels. The light they find is in one another and it guides them to the promise of a new home. Home isn't always a place or a building. My thoughts on the song in relation to this part of the story is the idea that they're slowly building a home in one another. +++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 6: May You Find a Light

Carol sighed and settled into the blankets that night. He was sitting up near the window and checking outside occasionally to make sure the surrounding area was clear. It wasn't unusual to go months without seeing someone on the road, but when you were sitting ducks in one place you tended to run into more people, more problems.

"I think it's fine, you can come to bed."

He shook his head. "Got this weird feeling. Think I'll keep watch awhile ." he insisted. "You should sleep."

"First you feed me fuller than I can ever remember, then you surprise me with the new coat-"

"Yours was threadbare. Barely keep a nat warm." he groused while blushing.

"Now you're forcing me to bed?" she raised her brows at him with a smile.

"I got plans for us tomorrow. Don't want you to be too tired." He assured her.

"Right." she countered.

"I's thinkin' of takin' ya with me to the other house. It's a little nicer, more blankets, clothes-"

"Are you trying to spoil me?"

"Nah, just thinking about finding something a little more secure. Something less visible from the main road." He explained.

"We've been okay here so far."

"I know." he looked down and shifted in his chair. He glanced out the crack in the blanket and looked back at Carol.

She sighed and slipped down on the makeshift bed. "You've been with me two and a half days."

"I tracked you all the way here." he admitted.

"I haven't seen a living soul for miles. I've checked in almost every direction." She flopped her arms out of the blanket it indignation and sat up again.

"Don't mean someone aint out there."

Closing her eyes in frustration she sighed deeply again and stood from the pile of blankets. She was bundled in her jeans and a sweatshirt he'd given her earlier. She pulled on her boots and joined him by the window in a matching chair. He rolled his eyes as she grabbed a blanket and pulled it over her legs. She grabbed her rifle and slid it comfortably across her lap, ready to use it at a moment's notice. "Then it's settled, I'll watch with you."

"Just sleep."

"I don't want to sleep. If you can't sleep, I can't sleep."

"It ain't that I don't wanna sleep. I just got this worry feeling."

"Then I'll have that worry feeling with you." she chimed in and smiled at him sweetly.

"I just think the other house is in a better location."

"I liked that this one is blocked from the west." she explained.

"Yeah, but it leaves you blind on one side. And in the summer, you'd have walkers crawlin' up that hill." Hearing his own words he blushed and looked out the window again.

"We staying that long?" she teased.

"If ya like the other house. It's got a fence round the main part of the property. Be good for an alarm system should be easy enough to rig up. Plus they's got a shelter belt. Line a trees all the way round so they's shield the house from the wind, stays a little warmer." He rattled off his list of reasons until he heard the sound of their temporary alarm system. When he peeked outside he could see a single walker tumbling over the line he'd set up and making its way across the driveway back into the trees. They would let it pass.

She pulled her feet up into the overstuffed chair and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and body. She set the rifle in the corner of the chair and leaned her head back. Soon she was dozing off and before she could fight back he was picking her up out of the chair and situating her in the blankets on the floor. Not long after she felt him slide under the blankets next to her, his quiet snores assuring her he was falling asleep too. 


	7. Chapter 7

FWD: Inspired by the song "Hosanna" By Josh Garrels. I think the house represents the ultimate time of peace and safety for Caryl. The doubting will come, the struggle to maintain the peace they desire will arise, but for now it's a time for them to settle in to the warmth of this present blessing.  
+++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 7: Hosanna

The next afternoon they pulled up with the provisions from the other cottage and he showed her around the property. Just three miles from the other house it was roughly the same size but with a few more updates, namely solar panels, a small wind turbine and gas powered generator for backup.

"Just imagine," she teased him, "If I'd gotten over here before you found me-"

"I'd a still found you." he maintained.

There was a thick layer of dust on everything and where there wasn't dust there was evidence that Daryl had been there. "Well, you're right, it's nicer than the other cottage. I mean I know you were worried about the wood stove attracting people during the day, but what about using the electricity at night?"

"Cover the windows just the same. Ain't no thing." he shrugged and started to chew on his thumbnail again. He nervously watched her walk around the main living area and into the kitchen and back again. She stood there thinking with her hands on her hips.

"The barn is cleared out?" she worried.

"The barn, the shed, and the garage." he nodded. "And look," he ushered her over to the window and pointed out to the back yard in front of the shed. "Looks like a good spot for a garden."

She looked up at him and smiled. "Oh pookie." She nudged his shoulder with her own. He blushed and scratched the crown of his head. "We'll take it!" she beamed. She was startled for a moment at how domestic this situation between them had become. In the old world there would've been a realtor involved and this would've been her dream acreage. And now it was simply theirs.

They finished unloading the truck and Carol kept herself busy for the rest of the evening wiping the walls and furniture down. Daryl covered the windows as promised and made sure it was light tight for the evening. They fired up the DC converter and the house flickered on with power. Later they'd realize that the heating unit was on as they walked around barefoot on the warm tile floor of the home. Whomever had built this home was a genius to have installed such energy efficient technology. Carol realized they were even luckier to have found it.

Maybe this time of peace would last. 


	8. Chapter 8

FWD: Inspired by the song "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" By Branches. A very somber first night. I think Carol is an incredible example of a strong independent woman but I also think this gives her a blindspot when it comes to imminent danger. +++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 8: I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day

Late that night she felt Daryl shivering and fidgeting in bed beside her. She rolled back over and pulled the blankets up tighter around her shoulders and tried to fall back to sleep. A few moments later she heard a distinct and repetitive thumping outside. She turned over and shook Daryl's shoulder. He mumbled incoherently and opened his eyes. When she looked down at him she could barely make out his mussed hair and tired eyes. "A walker must've made it's way through the trees." she told him.

"Wha-" he slurred.

"Just rest. You probably haven't slept this well in months." She stood from the bed and pulled her boots on and grabbed her coat from the chair in the corner of the room. She pulled her rifle strap over her shoulder and headed out of the bedroom down the hall and down the stairs.

She checked out all of the lower windows until she found the offending walker. It had been speared by an evergreen tree flanking the side of the shed and was being knocked repeatedly against the structure as the wind pushed through the shelter belt. It was dead. She flipped up the hood of her coat and quietly slipped out through the back door. The repeated thumping was going to keep her awake all night if she didn't rip the offending carcass from the tree.

Even though the wind was gusting through the trees it was doing exactly what Daryl had promised it would. The belt of evergreens were sheltering the house from the snow and cold gusts. She lowered her scarf from her face and poised her rifle and looked warily around the backyard looking out for anything else lurking in the dark.

Shuffling through the small drifts of snow she made it to the twice dead walker and dispatched of its body from the tree. When she turned around to head back to the house three more walkers had appeared ambling through the yard. She ripped off a mitten with her teeth and reached for her knife. It wouldn't do any good to shoot her rifle. If this many were herding through there were bound to be more and they would undoubtedly hear her fire a shot.

She struck the first one in the head, quickly knocking it to the side as the second re-animated body approached. A young woman with a half eaten face covered in snow and ice, she was missing an arm. Carol grabbed her by the hair and reached and plunged her knife up and under through the chin up to the hilt of the blade. The knife refused to release as the Corpse fell and Carol went down with it into the drift she was standing in. A growl came from behind her and she turned to see four more corpses walking in from the tree line. It was the beginning of a herd.

She gripped the handle harder but struggled to maintain a strong enough pull to release the knife. Her hand was bitten through with cold. She reached for her gun and pointed it towards the closest walker and took a shot with shaky hands. It hit the walker in the shoulder and the speed of the visible walkers increased.

"CAROL!" Daryl's voice shouted from the second floor of the house. He was standing at the open window his bow at the ready. "C'mon!" he yelled.

She looked around and kicked a walker backwards. Daryl took down three walkers with his bow and she was able to make it to the backdoor, open it and lock herself inside the house before any reached her. She slid down against the door breathing heavily, leaning her head back. She heard his fevered footsteps on the stairs and he appeared in the doorway to the kitchen.

He glared at her tired figure. She turned to look at him and smiled, "It's cold out there." 


	9. Chapter 9

FWD: Inspired by the song "Barcarola (You must Be a Christmas Tree)" By Sufjan Stevens. A short but sweet reaction to the previous chapter. +++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 9: Barcarola (You must Be a Christmas Tree)

"I don't have to explain myself." she said sipping her coffee and avoiding his gaze.

They had been seated at the table for an hour under the guise of eating breakfast. He shook his head and took a sip from his mug and set it down gently. He was noticeably irritated with her but he chose not to speak. Old patterns of communicating too much, using too many heated words led to separation, or so he feared. It had happened when they were looking for Beth in Atlanta and he feared if he alienated her in any way she'd run off.

He cleared his throat and scooped up the last spoonful of powdered eggs and beans and stood from the table. She furrowed her brow and watched him retreat down the hallway and up the stairs. Leaving the dishes to be cleaned later she walked into the living room and peeked out one of the front windows. The herd had increased ten fold but the shelter belt had done a remarkable job of forcing the walkers around the property, rather than through it.

She sighed and closed the blanket back over the window and grabbed another blanket and huddled on the couch with it. She grabbed a book from one of the book shelves and plopped down.

Fifteen minutes later she looked around the room and thought fondly of the small tree at the other cottage. Since they had already celebrated Christmas she decided she'd surprise him with a New Year's Eve celebration. The attic of the home was sure to have some kind of lights or decorations and maybe if the herd cleared out in a few days she could sneak out and check at one of the other houses nearby. Yes, maybe that would be a good apology for the strife she'd caused him this morning.

She saw it written on his face, the concern, the anger, the irritation, the sadness and something else he hadn't yet confessed to her. All of it was coiled tightly in his chest waiting to burst into being, but only when he was ready.

She smirked and set the copy of Little Women down on the coffee table and burrowed down deep into the blanket while closing her eyes. The heat radiating from the floor eased her into the peaceful sleep that had alluded her in the very early hours of the morning. 


	10. Chapter 10

FWD: Inspired by the song "Sister Winter" By Sufjan Stevens. The constant travel, cold, and lack of sleep catches up with Daryl. +++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 10: Sister Winter

When she woke up a few hours later, the entire house was dark and a chill from outside had set in. She sat up and pulled the blanket around her shoulders and shuffled to the window to look outside again. The slow moving dead were still trickling through the trees none the wiser to her presence in the house. She heard a loud thump and the sound of the kitchen door unsticking from its seal.

The wind blew him inside and she heard the sound of walkers nipping at his heel. He shoved the door closed quickly and shook out his hair and slipped off his boots to walk around in his threadbare socks.

"And you thought my old coat was bad." she said to him from the living room.

He looked up at her absentmindedly. "Huh?"

"Your socks." she nodded her head in the direction of his visible toes. He shrugged, picked up his boots, and walked down the hall and up to the bedroom. She threw the blanket over the back of the couch and followed him. When she arrived at the bedroom door she noticed it was closed. She leaned her forehead against the chilled wood surface and sighed.

"What are ya doin'?" he asked from behind her.

She whipped her head around and frowned at him. His face and neck were flushed red and his eyes looked drawn and tired. "Are you okay?" She asked.

He shrugged and leaned against the wall and spoke softly, "Just tired I 'spose."

She walked toward him and reached her hand up to touch his face in a soothing manner. She frowned and put the back of her hand against his forehead and neck. "You have a fever." A look of worry washed across her face.

"I'm just tired." he insisted stepping away from her. "gonna lay down."

"What were you doing outside?" she asked. "Were you bit?"

He scoffed at her worried reaction and walked through the bedroom door, "I ain't been bit." He crawled onto the bed and sprawled onto his back. He winced as he readjusted his aching body and instantly shivered when the cool pillow hit his neck in just the right spot.

"Daryl?"

"You want me to tell you I feel like I know I look? Ya already know I gotta fever!" he bit angrily.

"Why didn't you say anything this morning?"

"Don't ask me to explain myself." he groused bitterly. She sucked in a breath at the insult and made her way to the bedroom door. She heard him sigh, "I'm sorry."


	11. Chapter 11

FWD: Inspired by the song "The Sleigh in the Moon" By Sufjan Stevens. Apologies don't have to be long and drawn out explanations for behaviors.  
+++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 11: The Sleigh in the Moon

A day and a half later the herd had diminished to the south. The sun was out, the wind had died down for a time and Carol was searching through the medicine cabinet of another house a few miles from where Daryl lay holed up in bed.

He'd seen her dehydrated, starving and helpless in the tombs. He had been her savior then. The bright light that met her in the darkness. Now it weighed on her that her stupid decisions in the middle of the night might be his end. The fever had raged on, relentless after administered medications and what little he could keep down.

As she closed up her pack and shoved one last bottle of aspirin in the pocket she hung her head and said a silent prayer for him. She scoffed at herself, "Who are you kidding." She jumped into the truck and peeled off down the road. She'd been gone too long already.

Thirty minutes later she sighed at the sight of the house and pulled the truck into the barn. The snow had started to melt off of the solar panels and the yard was walker free. She looked out the horizon and took note of the position of the sun in the sky. There was plenty of time for her to check on Daryl, administer the aspirin, and set up an alarm system with the fishing wire she'd found on her run.

Entering the house she was surprised to see him in the living room wrapped in a blanket looking a little better. He looked freshly dressed in a white t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants he'd found in the bedroom dresser. She gave him a soft smile and put her pack on the wingback chair near the front door. "Ya okay?" he asked concerned.

"mm hmm." she mumbled. Rustling through the pack, she found the aspirin and a pair of wool socks she had stumbled upon in one of the many houses she'd raided that day. She turned and handed him the socks, "I found more aspirin. It's probably time for you to take it."

He reached out weakly for the socks and gave her a tired smile. "Thanks," he croaked.

She took off her coat and shoes, checked the levels on the thermostat and hurried to the kitchen. Standing at the stove she emptied a can of soup into a pot and glanced at him over her shoulder. He pulled on the new socks and scooted down onto the couch. "Do you need a book to read?" she called out as she filled a clean glass with water.

"Naw." he sighed, "Socks feel good." She smiled sheepishly to herself and grabbed two pills and the glass she'd filled. She carried them into the living room and nudged him to sit up.

"Here." she handed him the pills and glass of water.

"How was it out there?" he asked gasped after a large gulp.

She shrugged, "Warmed up a little, snows melting off in places. Sky was clear so we might be getting a break from the cold front." He nodded and laid back down. She leaned down over the back of the couch and stroked the locks of hair away from his forehead. "You wanna go upstairs?"

He shook his head and closed his eyes, "Naw, here's good. Here's where I can keep my eye on ya." he smirked, grabbed her hand and held it to his chest.

A warmth spread through her own chest. She would remain hopeful.


	12. Chapter 12

FWD: Inspired by the song "Amazing Grace" By Sufjan Stevens. +++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 12: Amazing Grace

Carol looked out the horizon and enjoyed her view of the sunset. She could see for miles with the clear sky and the field behind the house was covered in a glistening sheen of ice. She looked at the house and saw Daryl peeking looking out from the kitchen window at her. She waved and he reciprocated with a smile. She wiped at her forehead with her gloved hand and finished tying the fishing wire around the last tree of the perimeter. She had spent much of her afternoon figuring out how to rig something to the back porch. With the help of a bell and some random scraps of metal from the barn she was pleased with the final outcome. She pulled gently on the wire and the bell rang loud and clear near the back door.

Feeling pleased with her work she removed her gloves and hood and made her way inside to check on Daryl. He was standing in front of her looking much brighter and less flushed when she entered the kitchen. "Alarm sounds good. Can hear it all the way upstairs," he assured her.

"Good! Do you need something to eat?"

He shook his head and sat at the kitchen table, picked up a cup of coffee and held it out to her. "Warm up," he encouraged.

She looked from the cup in his hand to his face and melted at the look she saw in his eyes. "Thank you." she whispered. She sat across from him and sipped at the warm beverage while she eyed him nervously.

"Sorry I scared you." he mumbled.

She reached out and pressed the back of her hand gently to his forehead. She sighed in relief, "It's gone." She pulled her hand back and wiped at her suddenly wet eyes.

He stood from the table and pulled her into a hug. "C'mon now," he soothed. She continued to sob into his shoulder. For this moment she let the unspoken worry seep out through her tears. She wiped at her eyes again and lifted her head from his chest. She pushed back gently to look at his healthier pallor. He smiled softly and pulled her back into the embrace.

"I don't want to do this by myself anymore," she admitted to him.

"You don't gotta." At his words, the unspoken disagreement from a few days ago lifted from her shoulders. He had forgiven her.


	13. Chapter 13

FWD: Inspired by the song "Midnight Clear" & "Auld Lang Syne" By Sufjan Stevens. I've always loved New Years Eve and this chapter was inspired by two songs. In the show the characters never get to be happy, and like any good story, once they're happy things get crappy. I didn't want to write that. I wanted to write something that was contemplative, quiet and points them toward peace with one another.  
+++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 13: Midnight Clear/ Auld Lang Syne

Two nights later she surprised him with strings of lights hung outside in the back of the house and another large feast. She'd hung up streamers inside the house in the living room with random birthday balloons hung from strings attached to the ceiling with tape. She'd outdone herself and it was the first time she'd seen him belly laugh in any situation. She punched him in the shoulder, "Hey! Don't laugh, it's beautiful!"

His laughter died down and he looked at her sweetly and they sat down to eat. Another hour passed and she cajoled him into following her outside to look at the stars. "It's a new year," she declared looking up at the night sky. The north star was bright and the moon hovered large and round above them. She looked over at him to observe his own wide grin.

"You know I ain't real sure the other day was really Christmas." he admitted. Even in the dark, she could tell he was blushing.

She shrugged and put her arm through his. "And, you know, we weren't just celebrating some old world tradition." She nudged him and rubbed her hands together.

He nudged her back and they chuckled in unison. She was overwhelmed with a feeling of love and belonging and knew that this was the time she'd choose to remember. Even if tomorrow they lost one another, this feeling and this place would always be THEIR home.

"What did you say to me?"

"hm?"

"You and me at the end of the world," he paused, "Yeah I think that about sums it up." He turned and faced her. They were an arms distance from one another.

She quirked her eyebrows at him and teased, "Midnight kiss?"

"Stahp!" he blushed and looked away from her. She started humming Auld Lang Syne. "What's that?"

She stopped humming and reached her hand out to him, "New Year's tradition. Dance with me?"

"Ain't no music." he grumped.

She giggled, "C'mon, if I don't get a midnight kiss I'd at least like a dance." She pouted fluttering her eyelashes at him, "please?"

He sighed and grasped her hand. "Alright." For as much as he pretended to be irritated by her antics he was smitten with her.

They waltzed around the snow covered yard to the old song playing on repeat in their heads. They danced in sync but with a clumsy rhythm. She would step on his toes and he would trip while trying to lead. Carol felt the joy of the moment, pure and sweet in its messy perfection and tilted her head back to laugh as he expertly twirled her away from him and back into his arms.

"Why ya laughing?" He held her close but her giggles persisted and soon he was chuckling with her.

"This is the perfect New Year," she exclaimed with happy tears. He looked down at her in and smiled broadly. He reached a hand up to her cheek and wiped the tears away and then leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Happy New Year." he rasped, his voice full with unconditional love.

"I love you." Her eyes widened and she gasped at the sound of the words. She stepped away from him when she saw his shocked expression. "I'm sorry," she shook her head, "We should go in." She started walking to the back door of the house.

"Carol." his voice broke through the dark night, a whisper.

She turned and the tears rolled down her cheek. She laughed and brushed them away with her hand. "I'm just sorry," she hiccuped and walked into the house.

He stood in the snow for a few more moments finally letting the cold sink in. His heart was beating wildly in his chest. He had known the truth for a long time but expressing it had always been the hurdle. Since he'd known her his modus operandi had been to show her that he was the man of honor she wanted.

He looked up one more time at the moon and released the breath he'd been holding. The condensation swirled up into the night air and spun around the moon. Turning slowly, he shuffled back to the house contemplating his next move.


	14. Chapter 14

FWD: Inspired by the song "Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing" By Sufjan Stevens. New Year's Eve isn't over yet. Chapter 15 will be the last chapter in this little ditty, it's written but I'm not going to post until tomorrow. :-) +++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 14: Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

She stood frozen in the kitchen, afraid to move, sobbing over how stupid she'd been. The back door opened and she heard his heavy footsteps come inside and stop abruptly behind her. She sniffed loudly and turned around to face him. If she was brave enough to fight the dead, she was brave enough to be honest about her feelings.

"Carol," he spoke softly and looked at her lovingly.

A sob caught in her throat and she covered her mouth with her hand. She was a mixture of embarrassment and despair.

He cleared his throat and took a step forward. "I-"

She cut him to spare her feelings, "It's okay. I know that this is just… it just is" She paused to take a deep breath, "and it's really okay." She nodded and walked down the hall to one of the empty bedrooms and shut the door.

She heard soft sounds of drawers opening and things moving in the kitchen and then he appeared, opening the door and peeking inside. "You gonna come see this surprise I have for ya?" He asked.

She looked at him in bewilderment and stood up from the floor. "You aren't gonna leave?"

He shook his head his cheeks turning red and he chuckled.

"It's okay Daryl, you don't have to be nice to me about-"

"I ain't just being nice to be nice woman. Now c'mon!" he said rushing down the hall to the kitchen.

Once she got there she saw the table set with wine glasses, and an old bottle of wine. The record player in the living was playing the holiday stylings of Bing Crosby. "Where did you…" her thoughts trailed off.

"C'mere." he reached for her hand. She took it hesitantly. "Come dance with me."

She stepped away from him, "I can't."

"Soundin' like me now." he chuckled. "C'mon, I ain't half bad." He beamed at her, "Plus we got us some real music."

She nodded and reached for his hand. Bing crooned out Auld Lang Syne and they fell into an easy rhythm again. There was no twirling this time, no silly waltzing, just a slow two step where he pulled her into his chest and dropped his chin to the top of her head. As the last words of the song played he pulled away and looked down at her face. He smiled lovingly and gave her a New Year's kiss.


	15. Chapter 15

FWD: Inspired by the song "Christmas In July" By Sufjan Stevens. July is a good time for things to grow. When I was planning out this story I know I wanted this chapter to act as a bit of a epilogue for Caryl. I'm a sucker for a happy ending however unrealistic it probably is but after everything they've been through. Don't think of it as so much a reality for the chracters, think of it as more of a heaven for them. The return of peace and life after the journey through the darkest parts of winter and death.  
+++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 15: Christmas In July

It was the middle of the afternoon and he could see Carol in her garden warding off the rabbits and taking care of the sunflowers that hadn't stopped popping up voluntarily. He stopped to watch her bent over tugging on a particularly nasty root until she lost her footing and landed on her rear. She stood and kicked at the plant and wiped the back of her neck. Summer around these parts had turned out to be perfect for growing their own food but the heat had been relentless for the last week. When he'd decided to leave for a few random supplies she had stocked the boot locker of his truck full of water, insisting he was no good on the road if he got dehydrated. He knew she was also nervous because it had been his first run without her since the winter.

"Hey!" he shouted walking toward her with his bow slung over his shoulder. He saw her stand up bracing her back with one hand and wiping her brow with the back of her other.

She turned and beamed at him as he approached from the driveway. "Hey yourself!"

"You keepin' an eye out?"

"Walkers? Sure." She nodded and leaned back over to grasp a weed and throw it over to the wheelbarrow nearby.

He reached out for her arm and brought her to him. She dropped her gardening gloves on the ground and he surprised her with a very wanton kiss. She pulled away flushed with a twinkle in her eye. "Wanna screw around?" she teased him with kissy faces.

He blushed, "Stahp!" She laughed at him and he put his arm around her as they walked up to the house.

"Find anything good?" she asked as she poured him a glass of water in the kitchen. She sat at the table and watched as he gulped the liquid down and poured himself another glass.

He leaned against the cupboard and ignored her question. He eyed her up and down as he took a more conservative sip of his water. "Something different?"

"You've been gone three days." she rolled her eyes, "what could possibly be different?"

Daryl's ears picked up the soft sound of squeaking and mewling coming from the empty room down the hall. He gave Carol another questioning stare.

"What?" she turned red.

"You hidin' somethin'?" he asked. He sat down the glass and hurried down the hall. She followed behind him quickly and when he opened the door he was almost knocked to the ground by a drooling blonde beast.

"Surprise." she beamed. "He turned up yesterday and didn't want to leave." He turned to look at her leaning against the door frame. The licking furball was jumping on Daryl to get his attention and panting happily. Daryl gave her a pleasant smile and she giggled. He leaned down patting the pup on the head and ruffling its ears. "You can name him," she offered.

He looked looked up at her and chuckled. "Anything else I miss?"

A long silence hung in the air and he stood. She flushed red and thoughtfully answered his question, "Should know in 6 or 7 months." She grinned and walked back through the house and outside with the dog following her. It took a second for those numbers to sink in. He counted on his fingers and blanched at the realization. She had given him fair warning, they had discussed all the possibilities thoroughly and then left the whole thing up to chance.

After the reality of her coded confession hit him he ran out of the house and practically tackled her in the garden.

"Daryl!" she squealed.

"Ya sure?" he asked.

"About naming the dog? yeah." she chuckled and wiped a bit of dirt from the side of his face.

He scoffed and sat up next to her on the ground. "I don't care about some damn dog I meant you! You tellin' me you're…"

She stood up and grinned at him as she headed towards the shed, "Maybe. I 'spose that depends on how you feel about it." He watched her walk away and was struck by the subtle changes he'd been picking up on earlier. The gentle sway of her hips that were just a little wider, her breasts a little fuller, and the extra weight beginning to settle around her middle. They were things he hadn't noticed three days ago because they hadn't been apart in so long. Now he saw her becoming all the things she thought she had lost. He smiled softly as she returned with the trowel and weeder to tosse them on the ground next to the carrots. "I think maybe some chicken wire would be nice, keep the rabbits out," she stated calmly as she leaned over and started whacking away at the offensive weeds. She was glowing.

He took a deep breath. Barely unable to contain the mixture of excitement and panic, he reached for her. He tugged gently on her elbow encouraging her to join him next to the zucchini. He grasped her gloved hand, "It'll be fine."

He watched as the tension left her shoulders. She looked down and adjusted the hem of her shirt nervously. His eyes brightened at the barely noticeable bump. "I'm kinda old for this - whole thing - again," she scrunched up her face in worry.

"Nah, we'll be good." He assured her and like any time he'd gotten excited he began to ramble off his random thoughts and ideas, "Not many walkers in these parts anymore, and we got those neighbors to the south in that small community. Think they even have a doctor or some kinda midwife, maybe even the supplies we'd really need, other kids to keep the kid comp-"

"Daryl?" she cut in.

"Huh?" he asked mid ramble.

"I like Christmas." She looked at the dog over by the barn, lapping up water from bucket.

"Uh, I think more like January or February if I'm counting right." He held up his hands again to count.

"No." she nudged his shoulder as they sat together. "The dog."

He rolled his eyes and stood, "You already start callin' him that?"

"Maybe," she laughed and brushed off her knees. He helped her to her feet and put his arm around her and they walked back to their home.

"Just promise me one thing?" he looked at her.

"hmm?"

"You let me name the kid." he teased. She swatted him with her gardening gloves and he kissed her temple.

As they watched the sunset that night from the back porch steps she leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. "You and me at the end of the world." she whispered.

He reached over and grabbed her hand. "Naw," he sighed, "I think you and me at the beginning sounds pretty good."

Fin


End file.
